party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
