i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
