you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
