If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
