i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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