it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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