Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
