id be glad to
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
