So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
