So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my sisters under your porch take her home
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
