We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
