i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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