I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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