she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
