a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
