But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
