he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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