respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
