We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
