PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
