Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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