I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
