Screwed.edu
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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