It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
false alarm, still single
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
