I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
