ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
These tits shall not be calmed
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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