dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He kissed a someone with a penis
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
