SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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