today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
