Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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