Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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