I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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