I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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