the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
