it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize