Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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