The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
