cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
