Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
