She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
