The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
