PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm jealous of your bromance
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
