New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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