She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
