So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.