Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.