if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.