I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
