I bet he comes in French.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
