I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize