So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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