you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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