I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
