I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
