oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
