Christians are straight up FREAKS
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
did i just pee glitter
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
