I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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