Non-Jews are for practice
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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