As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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