I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize