so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
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