I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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