I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
