i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
