i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Let's paint friendship bongs
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
