I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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