if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You're like the curious george of whores
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
