Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
