My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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